ishit

i like to read tech and gadget sites and reviews and news.
i have no interest, at all, in ipod, iphone, or ipad reviews, gadgets, accessories, or news.
so i must disregard about half of all that i see on any of those sites.

How To Lose Weight Without Changing Your Eating Habits

this will work for you, if you're a Fat American:
When you decide you need the quarter-pounder, fries and a coke, don't sit on your ass in the car and order it through a window. Park the car and walk the 100 feet to a counter inside. yeah, i know it smells bad in there, but that's the smell of the food you're planning to eat.
Better yet, as there's a fast food joint approximately every mile and a half, in the U.S., it's not unrealistic to consider walking that distance rather than driving your car at all.
just an idea.

television

i'm really into how, when i watch the television, i get to see people and things in every conceivable shape (sometimes even including their "actual" shapes). as i switch channels, the population onscreen goes from trippy-looking endomorphs to beanpoles, or vice-versa, and back again. squares transmute randomly into rectangles. circles and ovals are interchangeable.
it's especially cool with program transitions and advertising: as a program transitions to a commercial, the people on screen often go from being basically human-shaped to being those crazy-looking three-foot-wide people; when the next commercial comes on, the people i see may become "normal" human shaped again, only to be replaced by the squat-people again 30 seconds later. i never even had to touch the remote-control!
i've concluded that my perception of "normal" human shape -(what i see when i walk outside is generally a population of significantly-wider-around-the-waist-than-me people. i assume they're "normal" human shape)- must be all screwed up, and my took-lots-and-lots-of-hallucinogenics brain sorta falsely believes in consistent geometry.
i am particularly glad that broad- and cable-casters--and media distributors-- don't make any effort to impose harsh, false, and UNCONSTITUTIONAL euclidean law on the true reality i see on that screen.
the television is clearly Metatron.

Palm Pilot

my Palm died. my (is "old" the right word?) little handheld... :-(
i've had one since Dad gave me the Palm 3 in the mid-nineties, with periodic upgrades and replacements. i've lived with it as my surrogate memory. (my brain damage is even more pronounced than most of my acquaintances might realize.) since the arrival of the mobile web, i've used it a lot less for "office"-type stuff, but it's still perfect for reading books (and yes, i'm accustomed to reading on it, and prefer it. :-P ), browsing the web (via WiFi), and very occasionally listening to mp3s or looking at pictures or videos.
now i've got to replace it, but they don't really sell handhelds anymore, do they? there are phones, of course, but i'm not interested in spending five hundred dollars (about $500 over my budget) for the reward of then paying, like, a hundred dollars a month (about $60 more than i'm paying now, and $100 over my budget) for the ability to look at the web and read books. i won't pay any more than $0.00 a month, to read, listen to, and look at the shit i already have. the way-cool bit about a Palm is: it doesn't cost anything to use. once i bought it, it became mine, fee-less. radical concept. the e-book readers do look cool, but
they can't run zillions of available (freeware) programs to do whatever i want them to.
i guess i'll carry the calculator, calendar, several books and photo albums and CDs, and my "boom box" in my shoulder bag, until i find a solution... probably an Android tablet...
:-(

deliberate phone piss-offs

things my phones have been deliberately designed to do, just to piss me off:

1. try to coerce me to capitalize Shit That doesn't Need to be Capitalized.
2. prevent me from using any ring tone i damned well feel like using
3. use proprietary ports to charge the battery
4. force a noise to alert when i shoot a picture

twelve-oh-one and the dork(s)

Some Times, opening yer eyes in the morning is a total Woo-Hoo :-)
then, the next day, there's significantly less Woo-Hoo involved, so ya crawl under the bed and cry, while cutting yerself with a dull and filthy kitchen knife (the one ya keep hidden in the back tank of the toilet), scanning a completely blurred, scrawled, illegible map of tomorrows' Woo-Hoo eye-openings, and considering in yer mind the ingredients required for a nice human-sacrificial blood magic to shift the shape of time and space to yer advantage...
but only sometimes. sometimes ya just blog the thought and fantasize that that's what ya'd be doing if ya had half an imagination and a more romantic outlook (not the butterflies-and-daffodils kind).
hello... Hello?
damned gods and their draconic calm and patience... (seven YEARS? twenty-four? ha-HA!)
veruca salt!
mmm.

path

you don't even know what's down there!

    i can hear the crashing waves...

the waters are rough!

    maybe, on the surface...

you can't see how deep it goes; you could shatter on the shallow bottom!

    with eyes closed, i can feel how deep this way goes...

for what purpose? your adventure, risk, for what good end?

    for rumors of Unimaginable Treasures, in the depths below...

there are Monsters in the depths!

    some monsters are ten inches tall, with fluffy tails and floppy ears...

and some monsters are twelve feet long, with vicious fangs and barbed tails!

    then the glory of the battle is greater, even if at long odds, for the kind of treasures i secretly know...

imaginary or unreachable treasures!

    here is the beginning of a trail...

the trails of bread crumbs lead to a thousands different lairs of a thousands different disappointments and a thousands different tortures!

    sometimes the Way is so clear even my dim little light can find it...

but how deep can your light go?

    i have no fear. i can find my way to the bottoms of the worlds...

if the path is so long, you will never return!

    no...

    not as the same man...
    i never have...

quotes, page two

"You know time used to be just fine until they put that damn sundial in the public square. And now that that sundial is there the days are getting faster and faster."
- a greek philosopher, quoted By Lucrezia Cuen on ABCNEWS.com

"My dad was a drunk, a gambler, and a womanizer. I worshipped him."
- John Travolta in The General's Daughter

"...because the Beermeisters had the door open for ten minutes!"
- Cheryl Rampone, 99.12.24  20:25

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace; where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; and where there is darkness, light; and where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood, as to understand; to be loved as to love; for it is in giving that we receive, it is in pardoning that we are pardoned, and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
- prayer of St. Francis of Assisi

"didn't we embarrass you into getting deodorant? And you putting it on in the mall, that was tasteless tasteful."
- Eric Darling, 2000.01.01 1:39

"Any path is only a path, and there is no affront, to oneself or to others, in dropping it if that is what your heart tells you... Look at every path closely and deliberately. Try it. as many times as you think necessary. Then ask yourself, and yourself alone, one question... Does this path have a heart? If it does, the path is good; if it doesn't it is of no use."
- Carlos Castaneda, in The Teachings of Don Juan

"Today, we all boil slowly in the pot of life."
- Art Bell, Monday 2002.01.28

"DO NOT ADJUST YOUR MIND:
IT IS REALITY THAT IS MALFUNCTIONING"
- Robert Anton Wilson, www.rawilson.com