Star Trek Into Darkness: 23-17-46-11

Kirk sends Scotty to investigate Khan's hint-
my interest is raised when the first number is 23,
and grows when the second number is 17,
but i flounder at finding meaning in the 46... 11.
there's got to be some meaning, right?



My Retarded Mind

i'm really conscious that the internal monologue in my head is slower than my actual thoughts.

i can hear the voice desperately trying to keep up with the concepts my mind processes. it's like the thoughts aren't really "true" until the retarded part of my mind processes them into words.

i hate

1. that my Reality requires the english language to cement itself,
2. that my Mind doesn't recognize my Reality until it's rendered into that sorta who-made-me-have-to-think-this-way blather.

i'm not sure which, but i think i probably hate both. i'm not sure how to regard my Mind vs. my Reality. if they're the same thing, then at least i only have one thing to hate.

anyway, i'm trying to conquer the demon with perpetual counting and/or abc recitation, but it's tough stuff. i can feel my "accuracy" and "memory" and "attention" falling off...


p.s. yeah i know i'm a moron in a thousand other ways. this one just stands out at the moment.


wads of crap, the Post Office, and morality

because my address is written on a wad of crap, does not make it mine.
because somebody else, i.e. the USPS, chose to put it in a box i've claimed, does not make it mine.
no more bullshit wads of trash- i'm not accepting them.
i've (multiple times, since long ago) informed the USPS that neither "resident" nor "our neighbor" is an occupant of my home. i've "return[ed] to sender" every almost every wad of crap they've stuffed the box with. so i think everyone involved knows that those people don't live here. everyone can't possibly not know, as every one of those wads of crap i return informs them in common english of who doesn't live here.
no more. it's now somebody else's problem. i guess the city? do they clean the sidewalks? (haha!) i know it's not their problem, either, but giving it back to the Post Office is getting to be too much work for me, and i don't know who to charge, as the wads of shit never really have any info on who tried to send them to me. which would make it pretty easy for them to mail contact poison or deadly plutonium or something to me, wouldn't it? so it's nevermore entering my home. it's nevermore staying in my hand for longer than it takes to toss it out into the street.
i like the idea of mail! and i like my mail man! why does a decent guy, and a noble service, get trapped into making more sidewalk litter? i don't really understand society, i guess.
whatever. i'm a decent person (in some ways). i don't throw my cigarette butts on the ground- i keep a little container for them. i keep my popcorn containers in my pocket until i find a waste basket. i put my empty plastic bottles in the recycle bins, i even keep the financially useless pennies people keep handing me. i don't litter. but is it litter if somebody else shits on my place and i kick it away? i'm pretty confident i'm morally pure in this.


_ing a _

so: i once _ed a _. it was pretty _, but in the end, the _ didn't really _ . so _ went _.
after _, _, seemingly out nowhere, _ed and _ed _. that continued, but i _ed it. so i had no idea of the _'s _. i'm still not entirely _. tho _ says _ _ (which i _!), _'s _s don't exactly _, so i just assume _ _s, and i must _. whatever. but the _ would be cool, if it were _. i don't know. maybe i'm just _. i _ so.
so yeah, i'm probably just _, but hey, what's _ without _? so i'll just _ and _. it's not like i've _ed _. (well, i _, but i've _ that _.) so i'm just gonna _ while it _s.
fuck it, the eschaton is like next week anyway right?


Foxboro, Great Woods, And The Civic Center

i'm cool with advertising, i guess. but i haven't gotten a check yet, so i'm Never going to utter the words "G*ll*tte Stadium", "Tw**t*r Center", or "D*nk*n D**ghn*t Center".
and if you use them communicating with me, i'm glad my brain- specifically my mental ad blocker [everybody has one of those on their computer & phone browsers, right?]- is going to redact your speech with wonderful blackouts :-)
same thing- i know what an ebook reader is, but have no idea what "k*ndl*" means. "*pod"? huh? you mean mp3 player?
please use word i can hear. or at least warn me you're going to lapse into verbal spam.
thank you-


"Atheist" is stupid

"atheism" is a stupid idea. "atheist" is a stupid title.
i do not believe in flying purple people eaters. nobody calls me an "a-flyingpurplepeopleeater-ist".
i do not believe 2 + 2 = 7. what's my title for that? do i get to claim an "-ism" for it?
i am not an "atheist".
i'd guess there are words for those who Do believe that 2 + 2 = 5, or that magicky dudes walk on water and are made of bread (with 17% alcohol by volume wine for blood, no less!), or that they're Napoleon, but i took abnormal psychology almost 20 years ago, and i don't remember.
if i Must have a title, please call me "not insane".


Labor Day, FU

the good thing about Labor Day:
i don't have to "labor".

the bad thing about Labor Day:
i get a check for 80% of the usual amount, next week.

is there any element of celebration, or "win" in this "holiday"? maybe for the some people, but i'm clearly "lower working class" (if only, in my case, kinda lumpenproletarian) and i ain't happy with this at all.

let's make a holiday celebrating "motherhood" on which we all gang up and beat the crap out of pregnant women!
how 'bout Healthy Food Day, where we're all forced to eat at McDonalds?
Deep Intellectual Thought Day, where our eyes are propped open before succeeding episodes of Jersey Shore?