chocolate cake is the best. the absolute best. i'm not consumed with acquiring it, and i'm never "in the market" to buy some, so don't come calling. but once i've got my hands on it/ my mouth in it, mmmm!!!
i walk around every day, surrounded by vanilla, cherry, coffee cakes... i never look twice. sometimes i spy chocolate... get close enough... and it's clearly just a plain white cake with some brown-colored frosting :-( that's rare though.
occasionally i'll have a bite of plain white cake. it's often an i-was-drunk event, and i sometimes have regretted it: blood sugar and all. yeah, it might have tasted ok, nice and sweet or whatever, but it's usually been just a blaring siren calling my attention to the fact that there ain't any chocolate cake for miles around.
i've bought some chocolate cakes.
a few times, i've loved the first couple of pieces, then looked down to realize it was really half my imagination- i was really eating some kind of marble cake or something, and that really kills the pleasure. i've even (ridiculous as it sounds) felt guilty for losing my interest- it was decent cake... what? am i going to toss it out just because it isn't chocolate cake? yeah.
a few times, after the first few pieces, the cakes have gone bad! huh? how does a cake go bad? that quickly? never understood that. i could understand a cake going bad, if it's there for a long while. if it just sits there in the fridge forever, but damn! i was eating that! how'd it go bad under my nose?
but most times, the best cakes have vanished from the refrigerator. like, gone. i know i didn't finish those: damn, i only got to have a couple of pieces. what happened? fucking late-night-chocolate-cake burglars. bastards. well, i don't know. maybe it grew legs and walked off? maybe it dissolved into the atmosphere? that's been a possibility a couple of times, but a few other times, i know it couldn't have been the case, because i saw the damned thing, my teeth-marks and all, somewhere after the fact. and just try asking a fucking chocolate cake what the hells happened! they aren't very communicative ;-) damned inanimate objects and their lack-of-communication powers.
not that i've had a whole lot of chocolate cake. tons of other kinds, but only a couple of chocolate cakes. why is it so damned rare? am i the weirdo? (that's not a question! it's rhetorical!) why do so few love it?
i have seen pristine cakes. naturally, i've become a bit of a connoisseur of chocolate cakes, and, at least i think, i can tell a perfect chocolate cake from an imperfect something-else cake. don't bet on me though. but i've seen perfect cakes from a distance. sometimes, i'd even swear they were calling to me... "matt, come to me! i am perfect chocolate cake! consume me..." but it's an illusion, a mirage... or i get up close and it's behind glass, preventing me from getting at the damned thing...
once, recently- there was a really awesome-looking chocolate cake, like a chocolate cake i had some sort of ancient anamnesis about- i swear to gods, i'm not making this up: it had a little placard stuck in the top, saying "matt, this might just be the best cake you ever had!". and they wouldn't sell the damned thing to me. they even pulled out the little sign, when i asked about it. i can still see the fucking thing, in a window down the street, when i pass by. i can still see the little holes, where the stick with the little sign was stuck into the top of it. the door's always locked, and they don't answer the bell. well- once, they did, but i didn't really understand what they were saying. which is weird, because their english had been perfect, previously... that really sucks.
so i walked over to the store a little while ago, and there were a couple of looked-like-white-bundt-cakes along the way. they looked pretty tasty, i guess. i'd have some, if i'd been served some at a table, i suppose, but i certainly wouldn't buy one. nah, i think even then, i'd say "no thanks". i've said "no thanks" to more not-chocolate cakes... don't remember any of them, unless they were really awesome-looking-but-still-not-chocolate cakes, or else really icky-looking things i can't imagine anyone would want to eat... why is there so much everything-but chocolate cake, in the world? and why do people keep trying to serve/sell it to me? jerks. no, i guess everyone's got their own tastes. i can't blame them.
it's not so bad, as long as i don't think about it much. it's not like i'm a chocolate-cake-oholic. i certainly don't need it. i'm pretty cool with cookies, i guess. they're available on the internet, pretty cheap.